So you’re rolling down the highway with good friends, having a big ol’ time, and a classic Dylan song is playing on the radio.
You start singing along — and your friends start to howl.
Because you’re going: “The ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind ...”
Or you hear a tune from Rodgers & Hammerstein’s musical “South Pacific,” and start singing about that well-known high-society couple, “Sam and Janet Eeeevening.”
Thank gosh for mush-mouthed musicians. They do make us laugh. Or is it the wax in our ears that gets us confused?
Doctors say laughing’s good for your health. Hope these oft-misheard lyrics will bring you as much joy as we had checking them out (thanks to www.kissthisguy.com and www.amiright.com):
q From Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”:
YES: “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
NO: “There’s a bathroom on the right.”
q From Kenny Rogers’ “Lucille”:
YES: “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille. Four hungry children and a crop in the field ...”
NO: “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille. Four-hundred children and a dog with no wheels ...”
q From Elvis’ “Hound Dog”:
YES: “Well, they said you was high class, but that was just a lie ...”
NO: “Well, I sent you a tie clasp, but that was last July ...”
q From the Rolling Stones’ “Beast of Burden”:
YES: “I’ll never be your beast of burden ...”
NO: “I’ll never leave your pizza burnin’ ...”
q From one of my favorite songs, Walter Egan’s “Magnet and Steel”:
YES: “For you are a magnet, and I am steel ...”
NO! “ ‘Cuz you are the madness, and I am Steve ...”
Thanks to Kitty Clasing of Mason City, for putting us straight on the title of the song by Cher:
YES: “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.”
NO: “Gypsies, Chimpanzees.”
And to Mike Harvey, the SuperGold oldies radio request guy, for the real lyrics to that old Manfred Mann song:
“... revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night ...”
That’s “deuce,” as in a deuce coupe car. So now he tells us.
My sister Carol’s friend, Carleton, needed help with part of an oldie by Herman’s Hermits, “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter.”
YES: “Girls as sharp as her are something rare” ...
CARLETON: “Goes to Shopper’s Fair in something red.”
“But he is totally justified in thinking this,” Carol says, “because the thick English accent (British band) sounds exactly like what Carleton heard!”
I always thought it was perfectly clear, what the Fifth Dimension sang about.
But maybe this is not the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
It just may be the dawning of the Age of Asparagus.
Reach Dick Johnson at 421-0556 or dick.johnson@globegazette.com.





